Awkward Mom Text About Sex

I’ve been stuck in bed for the last four days with flu and on the fourth day, I had been feeling well enough to get my ass out of bed and scrounge around the fridge for food like a homeless squirrel that didn’t get the hibernation memo. Food was the greatest adventure I’ve had in the last week let alone any sex.

During this appalling approach to address my appetite, I missed a call from my mum. I don’t think I ever could have prepared myself for the conversation that followed…

I’m still not sure what she was hoping to get out of this conversation but what took me by surprise the most, is that my mum never had that ‘Birds and the bees’ chat with me, so why now?

My mum is such a lady. Not a even the slightest amount of promiscuity would be found to be potting from her lips, never mind her hips. I don’t know how to come back from this… Would you?


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